Calm, Cool, and Condemned: Luke answers 11 questions

I’ve been told I don’t have to link to the questioners; that makes my job a lot easier from here on out. I bring you now a vampire who’s older and more settled in his ways than Carletta, though certainly no less deadly. Watch out now for Luke!

If you live forever, or for thousands of years, and are difficult to kill, and are very strong and powerful… how do you not become a sociopath? And go off and start doing anything you want and acting on any impulse? (Katya)

Why wouldn’t I do whatever I want? Don’t you? Or wouldn’t you if you could get away with it? But no, I don’t act on every impulse. Some pleasures are better spread over time. I pride myself on my self-control. I was raised to be a gentleman. That training can come in handy.

From what you’ve witnessed yourself, do the history books have it right? (Sylvie)

What do you mean by “it,” Sylvie? History books change over time, and vary from country to country. One particular figure in American history became quite the scapegoat: General Benedict Arnold was a great hero in most eyes, before I helped him fall into infamy. He became a bitter, miserable man—just like I like them.

Is ‘live’ blood more beneficial than bagged blood? Is it true that the last blood from a dying person is sweeter due to their fear of death? (Dii)

Vampires were not made to live on bagged blood. Think: Which came first, blood or bags? Most vampires may love the taste of the kill. I am more of a spiritual man. I have a taste for souls. Better than just ending a life is making certain that that life ends up in Hell. I find that victory delicious!

Do you find the idea of being undead – ‘living’ for ever, sleeping in a coffin, and so on – as horrifying as I do? (Lucinda Elliot)

My undead existence is not an idea. It is my reality. Do you find your own life horrifying? It was in order to live forever that I chose to become a vampire. Consider the alternative. I am something of a traditionalist in that I prefer to sleep in a coffin. It’s quite comfortable. One likes what one is used to.

If you had the chance to be human again to do one thing, what would it be? (Justin Bienvenue)

Become the Antichrist.

What significance, if any, does gender identity and sexual (etc.) orientation have for vampires? (fjf)

It depends very much on the vampire—what they are like to begin with, and what they focus on after they’re turned. I’m not sure what you mean by the etcetera, so I’ll just address the sexual aspects. Being a vampire has not made me cease to be a man, that is, an adult male. I cannot produce children, but I can function sexually quite well. I never have wanted to be a woman or dress like one, but I appreciate beauty. In rebellion against the Creator I use my sexuality, like I use my other abilities, to corrupt others along with myself. Preference, orientation, it’s all a means to an end for me. There is so much to take! I despise vampires who are squeamish about what they are and what they can do.

Vampire physiology must be very different from human physiology – how is human blood digested and processed in the blood system? (Jeff Dawson)

I assume you mean How is the blood digested (in the digestive system) and processed into the circulatory system. This question can only be answered by studying vampires who are “alive,” and most are hostile to experimentation. Of course, that doesn’t stop me when I find one I dislike who is unable to exact revenge. I’ve had the opportunity now and then. A vampire’s blood is quite different from a human’s, transforming the system of any human who drinks it. We need human blood to thrive. Our stomachs can not only tolerate large amounts of it at a time, they are nourished by it. Most of the ingredients of human blood are useful to our bodies. Our powerful stomach acids begin the transformation of the blood from human to vampire. The blood is absorbed by the stomach walls and enters our bloodstream much faster than a human can digest its food. Hence, imbibing affects us almost as quickly as an injection. 

Do vampires possess a soul? What difference does having or not having a soul make? What happens when you die? (Assuming you can actually die… Can you? (Francis Franklin)

Interestingly put—a soul? All vampires possessing the same one? That would be fascinating, but I assume it was a typo. It depends on what you mean. If you mean a conscience that makes you a do-gooder, I don’t think so. Angel of television makes me laugh. Any of you still recall him? Getting his soul back at the whim of a gypsy? Losing it again from a roll in the hay with a so-called slayer? When we die, I can tell you our bodies don’t just vanish or turn to dust like in some of the movies. What’s convenient (for us) is that a dead vampire’s body resembles a human’s unless you really know what you’re looking for. What’s inconvenient (for you) is that if you kill a vampire, you will likely be arrested for murder.

Do you believe in ‘true love’ and ‘soul mates’? (Francis Franklin)

Ha! I had infatuations in puberty, when I was still human. Love is a chemical reaction in the brain whereby humans tend to reproduce and rear young, to keep the species alive. It’s useful, of course, to keep our food supply going, but any vampire who might claim to be in love is delusional.

Would you date a werewolf? (Francis Franklin)

Why not? My familiar demon is a wolf. I’ve seen much through his eyes. And wolves have a reputation for devouring “sheep,” even while dressed in their clothing. I suppose you’re suspecting some kind of innate animosity between vampires and werewolves. That’s a modern misconception. Even Bram Stoker’s Dracula took the form of a wolf.  

Should humans tolerate the existence of vampires? (Francis Franklin)

That’s a funny question for a human to ask a vampire. What am I supposed to answer—no, you should chase us all down to the ends of the earth and expend all the efforts you can to kill us all? But maybe you are asking for justification for our existence. So many of you love us so much, why would you want us to not exist? We are the stuff of your nightmares and fantasies. We help you live with the darkness in yourselves. Without us, without all evil creatures, how would you recognize the good? Or is there really any good at all? If there isn’t, at least with our help, you can feel that there is. You humans seem to need that belief.